Did you grow up hearing stories of your father or the men in your paternal lineage? If so, were they stories of strong, present, hard-working men? Or, were they stories of weak, absent, and inconsistent men?
It is difficult to hear as a child your father being described as weak, absent and inconsistent. That was my case. Even after having done the “work” and have studies in this area, it all really began to sink in when I was asked this question: Who is telling you these stories of your father? Of course, the women in my family were telling these stories of my father and of most men actually.
Stories and narratives have a profound way to shape the way we see things. Fortunately, narratives change when we begin to re-write our own stories. Now, although it may sound easy to re-write a narrative, what is the actual work of facing your paternal lineage? For starters, get the stories told by the men in your paternal lineage. You will learn so much about what led them to make certain choices in life. Men reduced to the role of providers robs us the opportunity to engage with the wholeness of the human experience.
I understand that some stories may be hard to hear, and thus why families attempt to erase them. You may even do this with your children, not letting them hear of difficult times or only letting them know of your families’ struggles. This is how intergenerational patterns of information get passed down. Not wanting to hear these stories is by definition, avoidance. The task of each generation is to learn from the previous ones. It is simple, when we do not learn, we repeat. This becomes a pattern.
When I reach the point in session with my clients to inquire about their paternal lineage, many tell me that they do not know much about it. The absence of stories about men is also the attempt to erase the paternal lineage. Who decided to erase your paternal lineage by not keeping their stores alive?
Subconsciously or not, intentionally or not, when we do not engage with our paternal lineage we are also erasing a part of us. When others erase a part of them, they are erasing a part of us. And when we are are not integrated and whole ourselves, how can others really see us authentically? Too often we only show the part that suits us. The challenge is to show up with all of our parts, paternal and maternal.
Be it that your father is alive and you hold a close bond with him.
Be it that your father is alive and you have cut ties with him.
Be it that your father has transitioned from this Earth plane.
Your paternal lineage is alive in you through him.
What is your paternal lineage? The bloodline, the energy chords, the behaviors, and the beliefs that get passed down one generation after the other. The good and the not so good. Begin to work past and through them with gratitude for the lessons, and acknowledge your innate life force. The initial life force came from your father, biologically speaking.
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